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Two men are sitting at a table in a pub having a beer together. One man says to the other 
"Isn't it terrible when you end up saying things that you just don't mean to. I was standing at the check-in desk at the airport the other day and the lady at the counter had massive breasts. What I meant to say was 'One ticket to Pittsburgh please', but I ended saying 'One picket to Titsburgh' instead. It was most embarrassing".

"I know what you mean" replies the other man. "I was sitting at the breakfast table the other day with my wife and what I meant to say was 'Could you pass me the toast please darling' but what I ended up saying was 'Fuck off bitch, you're ruining my life'.